After studying a leadership model called “The Ego Factor”, I noticed it pointed out that torpid growth, lost market share, and panic response management are more likely to occur if growt ...Read More
From time to time, I come across a book that jumps out at me more than most of the books that I have been found extremely interesting. I happened to pick up a copy of the book Wikinomics: ...Read More
Here is an interesting article about some former Google employees leaving to build social networking sites. This was found on the Mashable and it offers an insight into the importance o ...Read More
About a year ago, I was given the opportunity to sit down and have coffee with Tim Marks. Tim had shared some of his past experiences with me and we had a great talk about what we as p ...Read More
After studying a leadership model called “The Ego Factor”, I noticed it pointed out that torpid growth, lost market share, and panic response management are more likely to occur if growth objectives are Ego driven vs. Profit driven. This often leads to personal needs getting ahead of business needs and is a common symptom of the lack of leadership within an organization.
A servant leader makes a conscious choice to lead by being a servant first. He or she is noticeably different from the person who is leading first, because of the need to alleviate an unusual power drive or to acquire material possessions.
Good managers get employees to respect them, effective leaders get employees to not only respect them but more importantly they get them to respect themselves.
It has been shown that effective leaders go through a never ending development process that includes education, self study, training, experience and coaching and mentoring from one or several individuals that have a very positive influence on their personal development. Leadership is the ability to influence, inspire and motivate others to accomplish specific objectives. It includes creating a culture that helps direct the organization in such a way that it makes it consistent and coherent keeping short term goals and objectives in alignment with long term strategic initiatives. The success of leadership in this process is directly influenced by the individual leaders’ beliefs, values, ethics, character, knowledge and skills.
Position and title may give one power but power in itself does not make one an effective leader. To become an effective leader there are specific skill sets that one must understand and master. This does not come naturally. It takes dedication, passion and commitment to the process. That commitment, dedication and passion includes a tireless effort to improve on specific skills and the development of a personal leadership methodology. This is referred to as your personal leadership model.
Okay…so this is going to be a little bit different than what I normally post but there some relevance to it.
The other day a friend of mine, SEO Dave Rohrer, posted a video that caught my attention (as most of them do). Most of us that work online all day seem to stumble across some of the coolest content, content that is usually passed along to co-workers and shared with our family and friends. This particular video is of a up and coming drummer named Cory Bordson. After watching the video of Cory playing, I became more interested in finding out if he had more material for me to review. Because of my music industry (management, booking, public relations, and recording) background, I decided to dig a little bit further and see what else I could find out about Cory Bordson.
I was able to get in touch with Cory via Facebook and he, like all good musicians, was very friendly and open to a few questions I had. I told him that I was thinking about blogging about him. I asked Cory if he could tell me a brief history of his passion for playing the drums and what his current project and goals were.
He responded with a very nice summery of how he started percussion in the 6th grade just like every kid who had to take a music class. Once he did, he found out right from the start that he loved the drums, and luckily for him all his other friends started playing different instruments. One of the started by picking up the guitar, another grabbed a bass and they started their first band in 7th grade. The practiced in his parents garage, so that of course helped him stay with it. All through high school he was in band. Everything from his freshman band, to the symphonic band, the wind ensemble and orchestra. He was a drum major in the marching band but expressed that his overall favorite was the jazz band. He just loves anything to do with drums and music!
To this day, he never took a real lesson. In his early years, all he would do was watch and study drummers at local shows and review drummers playing on video websites like YouTube. He expressed that one of his biggest influences early in life was Travis Barker, but his favorite drummer would have to be Tommy Lee (my favorite) and the legendary Buddy Rich. Throughout the years he’s played in several bands from styles reaching from punk, to ska, to pop punk, to alternative. Currently, he is in a band that really feels is going to be going places. The band’s name is Lake Avenue and the all of the members will be moving to Minneapolis this March to pursue their dreams and further develop as a band. He made it very clear that he couldn’t be happier with everyone who is in the band.
His remixes started out just for fun so he could watch and learn from his mistakes. Just as he did when he started (and still does today) but more recently he has realized that he make them to earn a living. He has already played a show by himself doing his remixes and the crowd loves it! He said that it’s something very different and so fun for him. So he is really glad that he showed himself that he can even make it on my own if he needed to.
Most importantly, he made sure to tell me that his family has always been supportive of his music and everything he does. He expressed that he couldn’t have been given a better family than the one he has right now. He also went on to tell me that his friends and their families have been very supportive too. When he started high school, the guitar player he played with always had an open room or separate garage they could play in. They were blessed that the guitarists parents were cool an just loved listening to them play. They would play 5 times a week. Recently, the band now has an open recording studio to practice and play in.
Lastly, Cory made sure to sum it all up… “practice really pulls when you really get down and work hard and really put your heart and soul into it. I am recently realizing I am a musician if I like it or not, it’s what I’m here for, so do what you love.”
Here is one of Cory’s most recent remixes. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did when I first saw it! Please be sure to check out Cory Bordson’s YouTube page and comment on this article to let him know how you feel about his God given talent. Thanks all.
From time to time, I come across a book that jumps out at me more than most of the books that I have been found extremely interesting. I happened to pick up a copy of the book Wikinomics: How Mass Collaboration Changes Everything, recently and I could not put it down. I found many parallels with what I have started recently doing and what Orrin Woodward and Chris Brady have been advocating for years. If you are interested in knowing where ecommerce is going in the future and how companies are going to thrive in that environment this is a book you need to read. I am going to post a few excerpts below in bold and my comments will follow.
“Throughout history corporations have organized themselves according to strict hierarchical lines of authority. Everyone was a subordinate to someone else – employees versus managers, marketers versus customers, producers versus supply chain subcontractors, companies versus the community. While hierarchies are not vanishing, profound changes in the nature of technology, demographics, and the global economy are giving rise to powerful new models of production based on community, collaboration, and self-organization rather than hierarchy and control.”
In this new economy that is forming, the people or the “customer” have more power than ever. They want to be heard and their ideas and suggestions taken into consideration. With technology, customers can now participate in multiple formats to help the companies who decide to listen.
“This new participation has reached a tipping point where new forms of mass collaboration are changing how goods and services are invented, produced, marketed, and distributed on a global basis….This new mode of innovation, anv value creation is called “peer production,” or peering – which describes what happens when masses of people and firms collaborate openly to drive innovation and growth in their industries.”
This is very important. Consumers are now more informed than ever with the internet. They can research topics and have valuable insights from their perspective that must not be ignored. It is important to listen and collaborate with the people on the ground. You need to get the customers insight and feedback and they need to be active participants with company leaders. Why is “peering” with your customers so important? Read the following text.
“A power shift is underway, and a tough new business rule is emerging: Harness the new collaboration or perish. Those who fail to grasp this will find themselves ever more isolated – cut off from the networks that are sharing, adapting, and updating to create value.”
As networks and communities of loyal people grow, their power and influence grows as well and their ability to bring fresh new ideas and innovation to the table increases greatly. Let’s look at a company that is harnessing the collective genius of its vast global network of customers. The CEO of Proctor and Gamble, A.G. Lafley, did the following.
“Lafley instructed business unit leaders to source 50% of their new product and service ideas from outside the company. Now you can work for P&G without being on their payroll. Just register on the InnoCentive network where you and ninety thousand other scientists around the world can help solve tough R&D problems for a cash reward. InnoCentive is only one of the many revolutionary marketplaces matching scientists to R&D challenges presented by companies in search of innovation.”
There is the reason why Proctor and Gamble is a global market leader. The leadership at the top of this company recognized the vast wealth of knowledge that they could use from outside their corporate walls and thus found a way to incentivize people to participate and help solve tough challenges.
This next paragraph I think is what really gets to the core of the issue.
“Some of these grassroots innovations pose dire threats to existing business models. Publishers of music, literature, movies, software, and television are like the proverbial canaries in a coal mine – the first casualties of a revolution that is sweeping across all industries…Now, to great chagrin, industrial-era titans are learning that the real revolution is just getting started. Except this time the competition is no longer their arch industry rivals; it’s the uberconnected, amorphous mass of self organized individuals that is gripping their economic needs firmly in one hand, and their economic destinies in the other. “We the People” is no longer just a political expression – a hopeful ode to the power of “the masses”; its also an apt description of how ordinary people, as employees consumers, community members, and taxpayers now have the power to innovate and create value on the global scale….As with all previous economic revolutions, the demands on individuals, organizations, and nations will be intense, and at times traumatic, as old industries and ways of life give way to new processes, technologies, and business models. The playing field has been ripped wide open…”
We have all heard about Michael Dell’s Three C’s, “Content, Commerce, and Community.” He said the secret to the internet is community. Well this final quote is yet one more affirmation of that point.
“…what is the difference? The losers launched Web sites. The winners launched vibrant communities. The losers build walled gardens. The winners built public squares. The losers innovated internally. The winners innovated with their users. The losers jealously guarded their data and software interfaces. The winners shared them with everyone.”
Here is an interesting article about some former Google employees leaving to build social networking sites. This was found on the Mashable and it offers an insight into the importance of building your brand or products community. This continues to be the secret success for online companies as well as traditional companies. As Seth Godin describes in his book Tribes, once you have a loyal “Tribe” following you and your product there is nothing you can’t achieve. But how do you do this? In my opinion, it starts with being authentic. Second, have to build trust. Finally, you have to provide a product or service that can go viral. Are your customers proud to talk about your product and promote it to their friends and family? If you can answer yes to all three you are well on your way to having a smashing success on your hands.
About a year ago, I was given the opportunity to sit down and have coffee with Tim Marks. Tim had shared some of his past experiences with me and we had a great talk about what we as people and a country of character are really all about. Several months after, he stopped by for a visit with one of his business partners to give an intimate presentation to a small group of close friends. With everything he went over, such as: education, finances , family values, and business building…there is one simple thing that sticks out in my head every single day. ”Define, Learn, Do”. With that, I pulled an article I found while I was researching some team building theory. Here is one that I’d like to share.
The six step outline below was created and written by Napoleon Hill.
Forming and Maintaining a Mastermind Group
Instructions by Napoleon Hill
FIRST:
The first step is to adopt a Definite Purpose as an objective to be attained bythe alliance, choosing individual members whose education, experience and influence are such as to make them of the greatest value in achieving that purpose. There isn’t any use in forming a Master Mind Alliance just to have someone to chat with. It will soon play out if you don’t have a strong motive behind it, and it’s up to you to plant that motive in the minds of the group members.
Your allies for this group should be chosen for their ability to help you get to where you are going. Do not choose people simply because you know them and like them. I have found out by experience that merely because you like a person is no reason whatsoever to have him as a member of your economic Master Mind Alliance. It is all right to have such a person in your social or purely personal alliance, where his contribution may simply be this very friendship you appreciate.
You should make a careful analysis of your purpose and list the items you will need for its attainment and then systematically go about supplying the links with which to forge the chain. Each member of the alliance should make some definite, distinctive, unique contribution to the overall picture. In making your selection of allies for this economic group, you may have to be a little “cold blooded” at first. It is no easy job to select the right members.
You may have to choose and eliminate until you get the right ones. This is costly in time and money. You should be guided in your choice by the things you need which you do not already have. If it is money you need to finance the deal, you must find a person who has the money to invest. No matter what nice people you know who would like to work with you, if they don’t have any money they cannot really make the particular contribution to the alliance you need. No-you must find a person with the money and cultivate his willingness to cooperate, by showing him the opportunities to make a profit from the investment.
Of course, you don’t take the first person who answers the major requirement, unless he also possesses the other necessary attributes. The qualifications of membership in a Master Mind Alliance are very exacting. Consider each candidate for membership in the light of his ability, his personality, and his willingness to cooperate with you. I cannot overemphasize the necessity for harmony, if it is going to be a successful organization.
SECOND:
Determine what appropriate benefit each member may receive in return for his cooperation in the alliance. At this point review the nine basic motives which I termed the alphabet of success. Base your appeals for cooperation on one or more of these motives. I can tell you ahead of time which motive will have the greatest appeal and I’ll bet you can guess it yourself.
You’re right! It’s the desire for material wealth, or profit. If you make a profit, be willing to divide it with those who help you. Be not only fair, but generous with them, and the more generous you are with them, the more help you will get from them. Remember the principle of going the extra mile. What a pity that not all businessmen know about that! One of my purposes in life is to see that they learn about it.
THIRD:
Establish a definite place where the members of the alliance will meet, have a definite plan, and arrange a definite time for the mutual discussion of the plan.
You will recall the importance of a plan in connection with your Definite Major Purpose. Well, this is the time and place to reveal that plan to those who are your friends and harmonious associates, who will have a community of interest in the success of the venture. You may think your plan is very good, but before you get through discussing it with your allies you will undoubtedly modify it until you hit upon the perfect plan.
When you have established rapport between your mind ant he minds of others in your Master Mind Alliance, you will find that ideas will flow into the minds of each of the members and likewise into your own mind. When the Master Mind is in effect, it produces ideas that would not come to your mind alone. I have had that experience many times when sitting in on the many groups of which I am a member on a consulting basis.
The Round Table discussion will be the place where everyone meets, and where each member may speak with confidence. They all see what’s on the table. You have no secrets in such a group, which results from the care with which you select members.
It is important that frequent and regular contacts be made between the members. Indefiniteness on this point, or utter neglect, will bring defeat. You must keep in almost continuous contact with the other minds of the group if you are to get the full benefit of them. Meetings should be scheduled often, and telephone numbers exchanged, so that it is possible within a few minutes to discuss any sudden development with the group.
FOURTH:
It is the burden of the leader of the alliance to see that harmony among all the members is maintained and that action is continuous in the pursuance of the Definite Major Objective. Action or work is the connecting link between desire, plan, and fulfillment.
FIFTH:
The watchword of the alliance should be Definiteness of Purpose, Positiveness of Plan, backed by continuous perfect harmony. The major strength of such an alliance consists in the perfect blending of the mind of all members. Jealousy, envy or friction, as well as lagging of interest on the part of any member, will bring defeat unless he is removed at once.
SIXTH:
The number of Individuals in an alliance should be governed entirely by the nature and magnitude of the purpose to be attained. If you are going after a purpose comparable to that of Mr. Edison’s you will require a large number of persons with special talents and training. A lesser undertaking will call for a correspondingly smaller group. In general, it is better to have as few members as possible, because it will be that much easier to maintain harmony among them. Quite often a man will need only a really cooperative alliance with his wife in order to achieve the purpose he feels inspired to achieve.
If a man cannot find that harmony which I have mentioned as being desirable between man and wife, it is possible for a man to form a purely economic alliance with a woman other than a wife.
Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) is a relatively new discipline dating back to the mid-70s. Behind NLP stands a well thought-of body of knowledge. NLP originated from several different analytical disciplines as organized by two co-founders: Richard Bandler and John Grinder.
It happened when Dr. Grinder served as a professor of linguistics at the University of California in Santa Cruz, CA. Bandler came there as a student to study mathematics and computers. Dr. Grinder, in fact, had already released several publications in the area of linguistics, which were known as Transformational Grammar.
Bandler then discovered that he had a “natural” gift for modeling and hearing patterns. He revealed that he was able to detect and replicate patterns in experimental psychotherapy from minimum exposure. He became an editor for several of Fritz Perls‘ books in what is referred to as Gestalt Therapy. Being familiar with Perls’ work, Bandler began to study Perls’ techniques. As he continued to discover that he could use Perls’ models as therapeutic procedures, he began experimenting with clients using the techniques.
After enjoying immediate and influential results from that modeling, Richard then discovered that he could model others. With the encouragement of Grinder, Bandler was given the opportunity to model the world’s leading family therapist, Virginia Satir. Richard quickly identified the “seven patterns” that Virginia used. As both he and John began to apply those patterns, they discovered they could replicate her proven therapies and obtain similar results.
As a computer programmer, Richard knew that to program the simplest “mind” in the world (a computer with off-and-on switches) you break down the behavior into component pieces and provide clear and precise signals to the system. To this basic metaphor, John added his extensive knowledge of transformational grammar. From transformational grammar we borrow the concepts of both deep and surface structure declaration that transform meaning/knowledge in the human brain. From this they began to put together their model of how humans get “programmed,” so to speak.
From their research into the unifying factors and principles, Bandler and Grinder devised their first model. It basically functioned as a model of communication that provided a theoretic understanding of how we get “programmed” by languages (sensory-based and linguistic-based) so that we develop regular and systematic behaviors, responses, psychosomatic effects, etc. This model went further. It also specified ways for using the components of subjectivity for creating psychological (mental-emotional) improvement and change.
From that point, NLP expanded. The model expanded by incorporating materials from other disciplines: cybernetics (communication within complex systems both mechanical and living), philosophy, cognitive psychology, studies of the “unconscious” mind, and neurology. Today, NLP is to medicine and health, therapy and psychological well-being, business, education, athletics, law, Christian ministry, etc.
Something that I have come to realize is that there is a whole slew of memes that are interconnected in the area of money and success. But these memes are about keeping us from achieving money and success, instead of helping us obtain it. They are very widespread today, and a huge majority of the population is tainted with them. These memes are gladly accepted and replicated because they allow people to validate their lack of progress in their life goals. I’ve found that some of them are:
❚ Money is bad.
❚ Rich people are evil.
❚ It is spiritual or noble to be poor.
❚ Big entities are bad; underdogs and the little guys are good.
❚ You have to sell your soul to get rich.
❚ Rich people lie, cheat, and steal.
❚ Rich people have lots of money, but they also have many additional
problems. Being rich isn’t worth it.
❚ Money causes good people to go bad.
❚ If you deny yourself now, God will provide true prosperity in
the afterlife.
It might be hard to believe that something a teacher or parent said to us when we were six years old is preventing us from getting a promotion today, but it could very true. We may doubt that a TV show we watched when we were younger could be causing our friendships, relationships, and/or marriages to suffer 20 years later, but that might be the case. We may find it hard to believe to think the books we’ve read or the movies we’ve enjoyed could be causing us to get sick or manifest disease.
But in fact, this is exactly what is happening to millions of people. And most likely you or I could be one of them. As we are exposed to these people, institutions, and environments, we are likely to be infected by thousands of potential memes. Just as exposure to raw sewage can cause us to be infected with germs, microbes, and other nasty things, prolonged exposure to the data-sphere (meaning TV, radio, movies, books, magazines, newspapers, the Internet, and e-mail) will infect us with many nasty viruses of your mind if we’re not careful what we chose and what we do with it.
Memes are as real—and deadly—as biological viruses. Just like computer viruses, memes parasitize the host (our minds), replicate, and spread to others. And just like other viruses, an epidemic of memes is sweeping through our society today.
A leader set up a team to look at the way an organization responded to public requests and concerns. The team consisted of mentors involved in various functions of customer service. The leader studied the way his team worked and decided that the average time to handle feedback requests could be reduced from 72 to 24 hours by eliminating certain steps. At the first team meeting, he outlined the purpose and goal of the team, then presented his findings and asked the team to come up with a plan to reduce the turnaround time on requests and concerns.
The team responded by saying, “What do you need us for? It looks like you’ve done it all yourself.”
Maintaining results is about getting commitment, everyone’s commitment. Involving people at the end of a process isn’t going to impact much on buy-in. In order to manage continued job performance, get the team involved fast and often. The extent of their contribution might rest on their experience and insight, which you can develop and facilitate. Start fast, do always and you are leading in a team effort way. To get to commitment, flex your approach in contributing, collaborating, communicating and challenging within each of the roles of the leader.
Twitter is a messaging service that shares a lot of characteristics with communication tools you already use. It has elements that are similar to email, IM, texting, blogging, RSS, social networks and so forth. But a few factors, particularly in combination, make Twitter unique:
Messages you send and receive on Twitter are no more than 140 characters, or about the length of a news headline. That means they’re really easy to write and read.
Messages on Twitter are public, like blog posts, and you don’t have to give people permission to see what you’ve written. That means you can readily meet new people on Twitter.
The messages are opt-in, and people choose to get a stream of others’ messages. (On
Twitter, this model is called “following.”) That means you have to be interesting, or
people will choose not to get your updates.
You can send and receive the messages via a variety of mechanisms, including mobile
phones, PCs, websites and desktop programs, and they’re distributed in real time. That
means that Twitter can fit with nearly anyone’s workflow.
When you add all that together, and you throw in a dose of the friendliness common on
Twitter today, you get a powerful and appealing communications platform that turns out to
be highly useful for a slew of personal and professional needs.
There are many ways to learn. We learn from theory, observation, and our own practical experience. Regularly, emotions deepen learning, especially when a comment or an experience hurts or pleases, offering new insights and generating new ways of coping with a challenge. Lessons that fit one’s character may be easier to understand, but in the end the ones that surprise us, that don’t fit our usual patterns, are more likely to be remembered. Of course I learned from every supervisor I’ve had…through positive and negative examples. I can’t, however, really say that I learned this or learned that directly from the advice of a boss.
Good advice, I think, often emerges from discussions, particularly ones that are more reflective or relaxed than normal. During these kinds of conversations, learning occurs in an osmotic way. In fact, later on you find it difficult to recall the exact context or details of the conversation itself, but from it you absorb a piece of wisdom that stays with you for a lifetime.
I’ve had several experiences like this at very different periods in my life. Let me share one example. This incident occurred during a time I had spent working in quality control for an aeronautical engineering company. Every morning our team began with a short meeting, what we called the ‘morning roundup’. We programmers and operators coming on duty were briefed about what had happened at our plant overnight, and we heard about the new blueprints and materials. We figured out what needed to be done that day and who should be responsible for what. The meeting was conducted in a highly disciplined manner; my boss disliked it profoundly when people came in late. In fact, being tardy was unacceptable. One winter morning, however, the weather was horrible, and the roads were covered with ice and snow. As I drove to work, I realized I hadn’t left enough time. Arriving at the meeting 15, maybe 20, minutes late, I was embarrassed and began apologizing as I sat down in the conference room. But my boss interrupted me. “On a day like today,” he responded, “only stupid people are on time.” That one remark had a deep impact on me. It made me realize that sometimes the generally accepted, traditional rule is the worst possible one to follow. When we’re setting priorities in any situation, we have to look at their relative importance and at the circumstances. And we have to be willing to change our own rules.
My boss was offering an opinion and, the insight I gained came not in the moment itself or from what was said but from stepping back, from thinking about what had happened, from pondering what I had been told and how I had reacted emotionally. Situations like this continue to affect me practically…to influence how I act while working, how I evaluate options and alternatives, and how I analyze myself and my actions. My experience being late that morning years ago has given me a lifelong tolerance for mistakes…my own and others…as what may appear at first to be a mistake might sometimes be the only right way forward. It also has made me empathetic toward employees when, for example, they are conscientious and make an effort but, for whatever reason, don’t manage to get a task or project done. It has taught me to reconsider the appropriateness of my own rules from time to time and to review them in the light of changing circumstances.
As any entrepreneur, we are keenly aware of the limits of your knowledge and expertise. We can never master every situation or specialty; we constantly have to seek help from experts in other fields. We admit our lack of knowledge to anybody we think can help us. But when we’ve gotten the facts and know what’s wrong with the system, we must be confident enough to go ahead and take appropriate action…even if others doubt us or express divergent views…because decisive and rapid action can mean life or death for an opportunity. In business, the stakes may not be life or death, but clear, disciplined thinking and prompt action are often vital to success.
I had recently chatted with a Recruitment Director for one of the nation’s largest Information Technology firms. Four months each year she visits college campuses to recruit graduating seniors for her company’s junior executive training program. The tenor of her remarks indicated she was discouraged about the attitudes of many people she talked with.
”Most days I interview between 8 and 12 college seniors, all in the upper third of their class, all at least mildly interested in coming with us. One of the main things we want to determine in the screening interview is the individual’s motivation. We want to find out if he or she is the kind of person who can, in a few years, direct major projects, manage a branch office, or in some other way make a really substantial contribution to the company. “I must say I’m not too pleased with the personal objectives of most of those I talk with. You’d be surprised,” she went on, “how many 22-year-olds are more interested in our retirement plan than in anything else we have to offer. A second favorite question is ‘Will I move around a lot?’ Most of them seem to define the word success as synonymous with security. Can we risk turning our company over to people like that? “The thing I can’t understand is why should young people these days be so ultra-conservative, so narrow in their view of the future? Every day there are more signs of expanding opportunity.
This country is making record progress in scientific and technological development. Our population is gaining rapidly. If there ever was a time to be bullish about America, it’s now.” The tendency for so many people to think small means there is much less competition than you think for a very rewarding career.
Where success is concerned, people are not measured in inches, or pounds, or college degrees, or family background; they are measure by the size of their thinking. How big do we think determines the size of our accomplishments. Now, let’s see how we can enlarge our thinking.
Ever ask yourself, “What is my greatest weakness?” Probably the greatest human weakness is self-deprecation that is selling oneself short. Self-deprecation shows through in countless ways.
John sees a job advertisement in the paper; it’s exactly what he would like. But he does nothing about it because he thinks, “I’m not good enough for that job, so why bother.” Or Jim wants a date with Joan, but he doesn’t call her because he thinks he wouldn’t rate with her. Tom feels Mr. Richards would be a very good prospect for his product, but Tom doesn’t call. He feels Mr. Richards is too big to see him. Pete is filling out a job application form. One question asks, “What beginning salary do you expect?” Pete puts down a modest figure because he feels he really isn’t worth the bigger sum that he would like to earn.
Philosophers for thousands of years have issued good advice: Know Thyself. But most people, it seems, interpret this suggestion to mean Know Only Thy Negative Self. Most self-evaluation consists of making long mental lists of one’s faults, shortcomings, inadequacies.
It’s well to know our inabilities, for this shows us areas in which we can improve. But if we only know our negative characteristics we’re in a mess. Our value is small.
Humans…all people in general are relationship oriented. We build relationships based on trust and personal contact, and we live and die on the strength of relationships. That this is the case serves as a convincing argument for telling the occasional white social lie…and against telling any other kind of lie. Here are a few examples I feel I have gathered to support this theory:
“Boy, this is a really nice office. I sure wish I worked in a place like this.” (The truth of the matter is the office we work in easily prevails the other person’s.)
No big deal. Some of us find it easier to make contact with somebody by finding something like this to mention as an ice breaker. What’s the problem if there is a slight exaggeration on a point like this? Even if the person should somehow learn the terrible truth that you work in a spectacular office, is there any real downside to such a statement made tactfully, and without any overbearing flourishes? No.
“And about the completion time you are requesting. I don’t see any reason why we should have any problems meeting that, though I will have to clear it with the programmers and technicians after we square away the paperwork here today.” (Actually, I know in full that I will miss the requested completion date by a week or two no matter who or what I say to the other professionals that are involved.)
Red light!! We are attempting to build a new relationship with a potential client by deliberately misrepresenting out ability to solve their problem to his or hers satisfaction. When things go awry later on…and nine out of ten times in a situation like this…the prospect is not going to remember the cute little disclaimer we slid in there about running things by the others involved. He or she is going to remember that you said that you could deliver the product on the specified date, and the “blankety blank blank” thing didn’t make it into the warehouse until the fifteenth. At this stage, we will no longer be identified as a “problem solver”. We will be looked at as a problem: a professional that promises more than can be delivered. This is not the stuff that builds lasting relationships.
Drama at Starbucks? (@ Starbucks) http://4sq.com/doW0I3 - posted on 02/08/2010
I never realized how many versions/editions of "Think and Grow Rich" are available until today. Amazing!! - posted on 02/08/2010
RT @webnews20: Google Could Unveil Gmail’s Social Features Tomorrow http://s-a.cc/WLJ37 - posted on 02/08/2010
RT @adamjohnsons: Google Creating Twitter Clone for Gmail http://s-a.cc/KMm39 - posted on 02/08/2010
I just unlocked the "Adventurer" badge on @foursquare! http://4sq.com/ca2RId - posted on 02/08/2010
Excellent authentic pierogis and crepes! (@ Europia Bistro) http://4sq.com/cauoVf - posted on 02/08/2010
Need some fun in your workplace? Here's an idea for any case of the "Mondays" http://bit.ly/2JT0RV #teamwork #fun #workplace - posted on 02/08/2010
@stoneteam1 The 45 Year Plan http://www.geoffsnyder.com/the-45-year-plan #networkmarketing - posted on 02/08/2010
Bill Gates plans to solve the world hunger problem http://bit.ly/aPM6RM - posted on 02/08/2010
Curious about the 4th quarter Department of Labor statistics? http://bit.ly/b6tc98 - posted on 02/08/2010