In our professional and personal lives, we’d like to think we could make friends and influence people if we verbally articulate our message with optimism, enthusiasm, charisma, poise and charm. However did you know that the verbal impact of communication only accounts for 7% of your overall message? The bulk of our communication comes across in our appearance and body language, comprising 55%. Tone, speed and inflection of our voice make up the remaining 38%.

Since non-verbal communication encompasses 93% of our overall message, here is a closer look at what that entails.

It can include your attire, tone of voice, clearing your throat, rubbing your eyes, crossing your arms, tapping your toes, scratching your nose. Eye contact, or lack thereof, gestures, crossed legs, open arms, and the scent we transmit are all forms of non-verbal communication. Through your choice of clothing, hairstyle, glasses, accessories, and makeup if applicable, your appearance also communicates a strong message. The way you dress plays a vital part in how listeners receive you and how others respond to you.

According to author John T. Molloy, who is responsible for Dress for Success, clothes are used as a tool to control how others react to you and treat you.

In an interview situation or during a business meeting, it is very important that you send out the right signals. Always look attentive and interested in the opportunity or conversation – do not slouch in your chair. If you fib, your body language, tone of voice or choice of words will probably give you away. Classic body language giveaways include looking everywhere other than the person you are speaking to and concealing your mouth behind your hands while speaking.

Not only is it important for us to be aware of our own body language, but it is as important to understand what body language means so we can effectively assess and react to others. For example, we may pass a negative judgment on someone because they slouch, fidget, or pout. If we are aware of why we made the judgment, we can filter out our biases and understand what their body language means and what it is telling us about that individual.

The most significant fact you should remember is that non-verbal signals have five times the impact of verbal signals. When the verbal and the non-verbal parts of the message are congruent, the listener believes your message. If they are not congruent, usually your words are saying yes, but your body language is saying no.

Always remember, actions speak louder than words.

Verbal and Non-Verbal Communication is a post from: Geoff Snyder's Leadership and Team Collaboration Blog - Freedom to Think and Dream Big

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It is hard to get good feedback.  The default position in our cultures is: fear.  Fear of honest feedback and probably even more fear of giving it.  Fear of retribution.  Fear of hurting someone’s feelings.  Face it; authorities didn’t used to ask for feedback.  Parents didn’t want to hear it.  Siblings sure as heck didn’t.  Teachers hardly did.  There just aren’t a lot of people who model seeking and giving constructive feedback.  So, in our normal lives at work, people who could be helping us understand how to help them be more effective, and how to lead in ways that work, just don’t tell us.

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