There are many ways to learn. We learn from theory, observation, and our own practical experience. Regularly, emotions deepen learning, especially when a comment or an experience hurts or pleases, offering new insights and generating new ways of coping with a challenge. Lessons that fit one’s character may be easier to understand, but in the end the ones that surprise us, that don’t fit our usual patterns, are more likely to be remembered. Of course I learned from every supervisor I’ve had…through positive and negative examples. I can’t, however, really say that I learned this or learned that directly from the advice of a boss.

Good advice, I think, often emerges from discussions, particularly ones that are more reflective or relaxed than normal. During these kinds of conversations, learning occurs in an osmotic way. In fact, later on you find it difficult to recall the exact context or details of the conversation itself, but from it you absorb a piece of wisdom that stays with you for a lifetime.

I’ve had several experiences like this at very different periods in my life. Let me share one example. This incident occurred during a time I had spent working in quality control for an aeronautical engineering company. Every morning our team began with a short meeting, what we called the ‘morning roundup’. We programmers and operators coming on duty were briefed about what had happened at our plant overnight, and we heard about the new blueprints and materials. We figured out what needed to be done that day and who should be responsible for what. The meeting was conducted in a highly disciplined manner; my boss disliked it profoundly when people came in late. In fact, being tardy was unacceptable. One winter morning, however, the weather was horrible, and the roads were covered with ice and snow. As I drove to work, I realized I hadn’t left enough time. Arriving at the meeting 15, maybe 20, minutes late, I was embarrassed and began apologizing as I sat down in the conference room. But my boss interrupted me. “On a day like today,” he responded, “only stupid people are on time.” That one remark had a deep impact on me. It made me realize that sometimes the generally accepted, traditional rule is the worst possible one to follow. When we’re setting priorities in any situation, we have to look at their relative importance and at the circumstances. And we have to be willing to change our own rules.

My boss was offering an opinion and, the insight I gained came not in the moment itself or from what was said but from stepping back, from thinking about what had happened, from pondering what I had been told and how I had reacted emotionally. Situations like this continue to affect me practically…to influence how I act while working, how I evaluate options and alternatives, and how I analyze myself and my actions. My experience being late that morning years ago has given me a lifelong tolerance for mistakes…my own and others…as what may appear at first to be a mistake might sometimes be the only right way forward. It also has made me empathetic toward employees when, for example, they are conscientious and make an effort but, for whatever reason, don’t manage to get a task or project done. It has taught me to reconsider the appropriateness of my own rules from time to time and to review them in the light of changing circumstances.

As any entrepreneur, we are keenly aware of the limits of your knowledge and expertise. We can never master every situation or specialty; we constantly have to seek help from experts in other fields. We admit our lack of knowledge to anybody we think can help us. But when we’ve gotten the facts and know what’s wrong with the system, we must be confident enough to go ahead and take appropriate action…even if others doubt us or express divergent views…because decisive and rapid action can mean life or death for an opportunity. In business, the stakes may not be life or death, but clear, disciplined thinking and prompt action are often vital to success.